Arctic Wolf Publishing / December 2008
Reviewed by: Michele Lee

Brandon Ford's unabashed homage to splatter movies and scream queens centers on Alyssa Peyton, a washed up has-been B-movie queen lost in a world of depression and substance abuse after being abandoned by her producer husband for a newer model. After quite a bit of crazy behavior, several drums of whiskey and enough Percocet to kill an elephant, Alyssa comes up with a plan to get herself back on top.

With an adoring fan she meets at a convention by her side, whispering reassurances and words of absolute devotion in her ear, Alyssa begins to act out her best role ever, turning the scream queen cliché on its ear by being the first movie serial killer ever — in real life.

The book wants very badly to be a B-class horror movie, and it succeeds. It's cheesy and clichéd, with a skewed vision of women, lesbians and the world at large. The forensics and police procedures are less about accuracy and more about getting the desired effect. Plus, there are more descriptions of Alyssa's breasts (what they're doing now and what they are covered – or not covered – by) than any other part of any character.

That said, the book manages to successfully attain its goals by adding a strong visual quality to the story. The science might not be accurate, and the characters might not be likable, but the dramatic, descriptive moments of blood on perfect breasts or a razor glinting through the night air are strong enough to be nearly visual.

Splattered Beauty is not a book for readers looking for something new, or a redefining of the horror genre. It’s for readers who can't get enough of blood, crazy killers and beautiful women.

Purchase Splattered Beauty by Brandon Ford.